Waiting

This whole pregnancy seems to be going by so quickly - but it still feels so surreal! I have felt pretty much normal this whole time, so that doesn't help make it real. My belly is still fairly small, so that doesn't help make it real. I am still having a hard time believing there is a baby inside my belly! He does kick frequently, but he also scares me by being still for long periods of time.

I keep waiting for something to go wrong. I feel like things are going too perfectly. I mean, look how horribly my last pregnancy ended. And then it took so long to get pregnant. How can this be such an easy pregnancy? I am constantly pushing on my belly to try and get him to kick (doesn't work). I always check the toilet paper. I've gotten through 23 1/2 weeks - how long can I wait for something to go wrong?? Please don't misunderstand - I am so thrilled and I am VERY excited - but it just feels as though it can't be happening to me. There are so many wonderful ladies who are waiting for their miracle. Why me? I am very, very thankful for our miracle - God has blessed us so much. I just need to trust Him that all will be okay. Easy to say - so hard to do.

Oh, and the only thing I've found that makes him kick is getting very, very mad. He goes nuts if I am mad!